In this episode of Being In Conversation With, Steph shares her latest insight that expectation is thought too, it’s personal thought where we want someone to behave like this or say something like this or show up like this, and it’s making you angry that the other person isn’t showing up that way. She can see that it’s an expectation and whilst that’s going on in her head, she is moving away from her heart and then wisdom isn’t accessible.
Steph shares when she’s parenting from wisdom, it’s easy, it’s natural and when she’s not it’s hard. She laughed at the complicated point system she had put in place to reward Eilidh for good behaviour and punish her for bad behaviour. She laughs at how serious she’s gotten with Eilidh.
She reminds us that when we are with a newborn, or a very young baby, we don’t usually have any expectation on that person, it just doesn’t occur to us. Steph could see that with Jamie who is 1.5 years, it’s just fun, seeing to his needs and having fun playing, all of them together. She really can see the difference with Eilidh, how she had put all these expectations around her which she didn’t have for Jamie. She hadn’t seen how different her experience is with them at this point in time and she’s so grateful to see it now.
Steph talks about how soon we try and start molding our kids to fit around our expectations and she reminds us there’s a natural way to parenting where we can keep children safe and teach them, not from a need to tell them and not from a fear space but from the space of unconditional love.
Ivana shares that kids are moving away from their own wisdom and start learning from the outside in if we don’t give them space to develop in their own natural way and box them in with our expectations towards them. She reminds us that the little people are just the same as us, they too have a lot of wisdom and strength and it’s easy to get knocked off by them if they say no to us, then we don’t know what to do and start looking in the wrong direction, we no longer look from the place of love and wisdom.