“We don’t live in a world influenced by thoughts, we live in a world of our own thoughts.” – Andy Couch
Andy Couch shares in this “Being In Conversation with” episode how he started to quieten down when he first came across the understanding of the Three Principles, getting more of an insight into what Universal Mind is. He started to really see the inside out nature of thought, feeling settled down for the first time in years, feeling back home.
“I’m now being able to see the true nature of my kids, seeing that underneath whatever they’re thinking they’re well, seeing their inner diamond, the essence of who they really are”
I’m now being able to see the true nature of my kids, seeing that underneath whatever they’re thinking they’re well, seeing their inner diamond, the essence of who they really are”
He shares about how doors at work easily opened for him without working hard for it and how he changed his coaching style after coming across the Three Principles where he’s now no longer goal setting or going into the depth of the presenting problems with clients but instead talking to people about how we create our experience.
He talks about how what really sticks with people is seeing that thoughts go round and round and that sometimes we pick up the same thought over and over whether we see it or not, and that when we get out of the way, new thought can come through without having to do anything.
He also talks about pointing people to the inside out nature of Mind, going deeper into flow performance, talking about Mind and what sits behind people’s thoughts. Noticing who’s driving your life when you’re out of the way and pointing to the space that sits behind performance in every area from sport, music, work, family.
Andy talks about the psychological freedom that’s on offer when he sees what his head does, knowing that how he feels is totally independent of what’s going on outside. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong to feel what’s going on outside, however when people settle down, spend more time being home, being themselves, then there’s no roles to play and there’s more of a feeling of ease. He doesn’t find things as challenging as he used to, taking his own thoughts less seriously, noticing that he has more perspective when he’s at ease.
He talks about how when his kids scream, he can notice that sometimes he’s totally fine and other times not. He now knows that he’s just feeling off and that sometimes a good rest will help or a fresh thought pops in and his feelings will change. Now he knows not to make decisions when being in a low state of mind. He doesn’t need to change house, move jobs, not taking all these thoughts or strong feelings seriously and needing to do anything about them.
Kaye shares how she had a temper tantrum the other day; screaming, experiencing pure rage. It was about something really trivial but she didn’t have any judgement on the experience and she noticed that after 7 minutes her rage was gone and she was fine again. She compared it to how children have temper tantrums and then they’re fine again, they don’t beat themselves up for having had the experience, thinking they should be further along in their spiritual development.
Andy talks about not needing to process or reflect when we’re in a low state of mind but just seeing that we’re going with our thinking in that moment and that’s it.
He shares more about his tennis performance and how having the understanding of the Three Principles really changed his performance on court. He used to try really hard to get the game or strategy right and now he knows that it’s just about letting his body play. He doesn’t need to steer the game, it’s just about allowing the performance to come through.
Kaye talks about how when she doesn’t have personal thinking, wisdom comes through and it’s not that wisdom visit us, it’s always there when we’re not thinking. Kaye can see that Andy is not worried about winning at tennis or he’s not comparing himself, he’s just being, bringing mind into the game when he’s not worried about the results.
Andy shares a snippet of a radio programme he listened to about Olympic divers where they asked divers how they stay calm and execute such complex skills under high pressure. The diver shared how it’s about getting out of his own way because if he was to do it consciously, he couldn’t execute those skills.
He talks about adapting his language to the environment he’s in when sharing the understanding of the Three Principles, talking about the inside nature of thought, flow and peak performance. Kaye shares that it doesn’t really matter what language we use when we share what we see, because people will hear through their own wisdom anyway. When someone is really speaking from their heart and sharing what they know to be true, one’s own personal thinking drops away.
Andy discusses the feeling of not wanting to come across evangelical when sharing this understanding, knowing that this understanding is true for everyone.
Kaye shares an anecdote of a recent meeting with a business advisor where she found herself acting forceful and out of character, being really direct, using language that she wouldn’t normally use to share this understanding but that this was exactly perfect for the situation. It allowed the other person to listen and no longer be distracted, having insights for himself. Kaye points to the fact that it’s not necessarily about the amount of time we spend with people sharing this understanding, whether it’s 10 minutes or 3 days, knowing that when thinking falls away, wisdom can come through in any moment and that’s true for anyone.
He wraps up this conversation sharing about what he sees ego to be, which is just thought that he holds true about himself, thoughts about what he’s good at which is totally made up from his own thinking. He can see that he’s the person who thinks but he’s not his thoughts.