Torill starts off this Being In Conversation With episode sharing that she now sees people in a different way, seeing behind the words and behaviours, meeting people in their hearts. She no longer has the need to fix people or the feeling that she needs to suffer with them, she can simply connect with people from another place.
Kaye shares that she used to experience a deep connection with random people, knowing that she had no future with them, not experiencing any personal thinking about them. She can see that she can have that deep connection with anyone if she allows her past or future based thoughts about the person to drop.
Kaye shares an experience about her stepfather dying two years ago, how she spent most of her life hating him but that she was able to connect with him on such a deep level 6 weeks before he died. She was able to let go of any hateful thoughts knowing that they had no future together, seeing the past collapsing and experiencing pure love with someone that she spent most of her life hating.
Torill reminds us that it’s possible to see another person in a new light every time, not bringing our thoughts about them with us when we remember that our thoughts are just thoughts.
“What a gift to know that every moment can be fresh, that every moment is fresh but for our dead thinking that we bring with us and that taints our experience of the moment.” – Kaye
Torill talks about her husband who died 1.5 years ago, sharing that it was possible for her to just allow herself to feel whatever she was feeling, not having to be in grief but just experiencing whatever came up for her in the moment. She shares her experience of being there for her husband in the final moments without feeling sorry for him, watching his body age rapidly 40 years in 4 months, learning to look beyond the body to connect with her husband from a deeper place. Being in the moment with each other which in the past, without the understanding of the Three Principles, she couldn’t have done.
She talks about how she now has so much free time in her life, because she’s not busy with all the worrying and planning, trying to control her life.
“Nothing can harm us, not even death” – Kaye
Kaye realises that ‘nothing can harm us’ because there is this constant beingness which just is and that we’re a part of. Knowing that constant is there and being able to rest, dwell and be aware of it and feel it’s present makes the transient nature of form, circumstances and personal thinking insignificant in a way.
She now sees that she can be in life fully, without needing life to be a certain way If something shows up that she doesn’t like, she now knows that this experience is coming from her and it’s not the event that’s creating the bad feeling. Torill talks about how often she can see that her thoughts or expectations about the future are wrong and that she can just sit back and let life do it’s own thing.
“When I see how little control I have and that life just happens, then I can just be in it.” – Kaye
Kaye shares that it sounds ridiculous to her that we could make life any better than it is, it all comes down to not understanding or knowing where our well being comes from and as soon as we see that our well being is innate, and nothing outside of us can harm us, it doesn’t matter what happens. When we can see that in us, then we can also see that in other people as well, nothing can harm them as well.