“Because on some deeper level I know that I’m okay, there’s an element of just being in that experience of overwhelm and not being overly concerned by it. I can still notice that the sun is shining and I look forward to the drive but I think that’s totally down to the fact that I know deep down I’m totally okay, it’s just overwhelm. I don’t have to be worried about it. I don’t have to dislike it or not want to be in overwhelm, it just is.” – Jacqueline Hollows
Jacqueline shares how at this point (of filming) she’s feeling really overwhelmed, thinking she had too much in her diary, hasn’t gotten enough stuff done and missing some deadlines. Whilst Jacqueline knows it’s not helpful to look in the direction of overwhelm, she couldn’t help but get seduced by it. She realised that her feeling of overwhelm had nothing to do with how many appointments she had in the dairy, noticing that some days she’s totally on top of things even though she’s busy, dealing with things just fine and then when being stuck in a head fog, things seem so much harder with all that extra thinking and noise in her head. Jacqueline shares that in those moments of overwhelm, there is no space to see anything other than the feeling of overwhelm, however yet on some other level there is also the awareness of her being okay and not needing to do anything to get out of that place.
“Your curiosity and willingness to experiment with my feeling of overwhelm, the fact that you two didn’t care at all, gave me that opportunity to see the seduction, to see the stillness, which calmed things down.”
Kaye explores the potential of Jacqueline’s boat being steered from stormy waters (feeling of overwhelm) into stillness; the curiosity and lightness of the conversation creates a gap for Jacqueline to shift, feeling much lighter and not needing to take her thinking so seriously. All three of them realise that they can have periods of peace and then go into rage and then peace again within seconds and that it’s just about allowing that ebb and flow to be there and letting it do its thing. Jacqueline notices how when she’s in a low state of mind and acts it out, she doesn’t need to deal with the aftermaths anymore, realising the feeling is in the past already and there is no need to identify with it anymore, and no need to make up for having been in that space.
Jacqueline explores the different layers of commitment, and in the end realises that even commitment is made up too and that’s it ‘s possible to change your thinking around agreeing to an appointment in any moment. Rather than having appointments be fixed or have certain rules around them, Jacqueline sees there is more flexibility around them and it’s okay for them to be cancelled in case they don’t feel right or just aren’t flowing in the moment. Kaye explores the difference between committing to something from a personal thinking space or committing something from a universal mind space and almost having no choice but going along with something compared to thinking something needs to be done or sounds like a good idea.